Here is the ultimate for the Lazy Bride – a wedding where you just show up. No planning, no invites, nada – not even an idea that you're getting married. Instead of a surprise birthday party, it's a surprise wedding.
And if you think I'm making this one up, guess again as we just had a surprise wedding last week. One of our clients at Weddings Costa Rica is a German luxury cruise line and we coordinate weddings in Costa Rica for their passengers. We had a lovely couple last week marry on the Caribbean coast, amidst the jungle with a stunning ocean view.
What made it truly memorable was the fact the groom set everything up without the bride's knowledge. He bought the rings (gorgeous), the dress (stunning), shoes, arranged for the decor…and the gal didn't have a clue. They weren't even engaged when they started their cruise! Once they were anchors away, he proposed and then announced that he'd arranged to have the wedding when they hit port in Costa Rica. Thankfully, she said yes to everything and was very excited by her surprise wedding. It was a good day for all.
While I don't believe it's a new trend, this is the second groom I've worked with who has had this 'romantic' notion in his head (thankfully, he reconsidered as his bride and her mom were less than impressed with his plans). I'm not sure what the attraction is of springing a wedding on their beloved as I cannot imagine a lot of brides would be flipping cartwheels at the thought.
In short, I don't think it's a great idea. No matter how much a girl may say she's not all caught up in the notion of a wedding, rare is she who would not want to be somewhat involved in her big day. A surprise engagement is one thing but a wedding – whoa, that's dangerous territory buddy. The groom has to be rock-solid in his belief that the bride will be a) happy to marry him right there and then and b) thrilled with his choice of decor, flowers, dress, cake, photographer, musicians…you know, all the gazillion things that even a simple elopement involves.
No offense, guys, but most women get hives at the thought of letting you pick out a pair of shoes for us much less plan and coordinate a wedding. The saying that everyone loves surprises doesn't apply here.
My advice? Plan a surprise dinner or a surprise honeymoon even but let your bride decide with you, together, when and where the wedding will be. A good marriage does need excitement and little surprises along the way but it also needs you working together as a couple to make decisions about both the big and little things in your life.